What people don't realize is the lost years when dealing with depression. People who have never suffered or only suffered for a short time may not know what I mean. I also recognize that this could just be my own experience.
The lost years are the times or opportunities missed because you're just trying to survive. It includes everything. It includes retirement contributions, caring for your body, lost education, disorganization, broken relationships, and much more.
And so when you finally aren't dealing with the depression as much anymore, there's the overwhelming feeling of trying to make up for lost time. Trying to earn more money to save so maybe you don't have to work until you're 90. Trying to get your body fit again. Trying to make doctor appointments for those things you just 'let go'. Trying to reorganize the garage, basement, the documents accumulated, the bills paid or unpaid. Trying to redevelop past relationships that seemed to just have dissolved.
To me, it really feels like lost time. Like I have to catch up.
I debated whether to post this or to just journal it, but decided to post so if anyone else feels this way, they can at least know they aren't alone.